I haven’t been writing much as of late. I’ve been spending too much time on my couch killing prostitues and stealing cars. Yes; I am a victim of GTA4. It has stormed into my house, and hit the yellow button, thereby throwing me off my couch and sending me cascading into a timeless void, where all day I feel inclined to murder mobsters of varying stereotypical ethnic backgrounds. It’s fun.

Now you may be wondering why I would rather play video games than write stuff on my website. Well it’s pretty simple. Whene was the last time YOU gave me any money? Never. Unless you’re my mom. Since my mom has difficulty doing anything but check e-mail and play spider solitaire I sincerely doubt you’re her. (on the slim chance you ARE my mother, ahem . . . you’re the best with computers mom! remember when you hacked into NORAD and convinced Reagan that the world was being sent into nuclear armageddon? Ha Ha Ha those were good times.)

Well for your information I’ve made just under four hundred grand in the last month! That’s right I have proffitted close to four hundred grand in the last four weeks! That’s close to a hundred grand a week. Of course the money I make playing video games doesn’t really exist, but don’t tell that to the hookers I’ve been doing all week.

Do you wanna know how much I made last week from my “real” job? Well let me tell you, a lot less than that. Less than 1% of that. I tried convincing my girlfriend that she should just work while I stay at home and “regulate”. See there was a very hip rap fellow from the early ninties called Warren G. He did a song called “regulate” where not only does he sample a clip from Young Guns, but he also lays down some sweet rhymes on a fly beat. Needless to say she didn’t see the awesomeness in my plan. I even drew a sweet spider graph and everything but she didn’t budge on the topic.

Regulating is what I do for a living now. That song is my theme song when I walk into the living room. Am I gonna be killing a Russian mobster for being unneedingly cruel to my good friend Badman? I dunno! That’s the exciting part. Some times I just drive over people taking a stroll through “middle park”. Some might call this cruel, but I have it on a good source that most people in Liberty City are pedaphiles.

The other day I stole a helicopter and sat on top of a roof shooting hot dog vendors with a sniper rifle. I was only keeping people from eating junk food! Does this make me a bad person? No! I’m trying to make the world a better place! Well the world I care about. My fantasy video game world where I don’t have to pay taxes or bathe. Do you think I’d waste my time helping gross homeless people or anything? Ewwwwwww

So I tell you what. I’ll make an effort to pay more attention to my webiste provided you let me steal your car and drive over you a few times. Do we have a deal?