“Hey numb nuts this is Edmonton not the OC! Get some new shorts and tell your orange girlfriend to read a book!”

Number 7 - Burt Reynolds

Behold my friends! This is truly one of the greatest staches in the history of the world. If Alexander the great had a moustache, this would be the caliber of moustache he would have.

Plus we can’t forget that this guy was married to Lonnie Anderson, and back when she was on WKRP.

That deserves some awesome points.

Number 6 - Vlad the Impaler

Ever read anything about this guy? He was one of the most ruthless cats in history, and in his memory we have the fabulous story of Count Dracula. If you don’t wanna read too much just do a search for impaling and then think about how this guy did it to thousands of people in one go.

On the plus side Count Dracula led to Count Chocula, and I think we all liked that guy!

Number 5 - Frida Kahlo

She was a chick who had a stache and a vagina. That’s impressive, and not only that she was an incredible artist who painted some really trippy stuff.

Number 4 - Mario&Luigi

I think these goomba plumber bastards stole half my childhood. My skin grew pale and tarnslucent as I hudled in the basement peering into the void of Super Mario Brothers.

Number 3 - Billie Dee Williams

Uh He’s Lando! Lando Calrissien! He’s the flyest freedom fighter ever. He what Shaft wants to be! I know, cause Shaft and I go curling together, and he talks about it all the time.

Number 2 - Frank Zappa

I love Frank Zappa, he’s so much more than just a musician. He’s a genius, I saw him tear througha  bunch of morons on Crossfire back in the day. Like 1984 or something and they were debating the censorship issues surrounding the “new” VanHalen song Hot for Teacher.

He had those pinheads reaching for statistics, it was so enjoyable.

Number 1 - Hal Johnson

I am the man I am today because of Hal’s teachings. He taught me how to make a sweet spinach dip in mere seconds! Plus now wherever I am and wherever I go I always “Keep fit and have fun.”