I think it’s fairly obvious that as we get older we change. Our whole outlook on life changes. Where once you had fine perky ears that seemed to recall and era where men hunted the forests and plains seeking food for their families and fur for warmth, eventually you will have saggy gross bulges of cartilagde that are hair. Seriously old men have more hair in their ears than Magnum PI did on his chest.

The one thing I’m actually looking forward to about getting old is about being able to complain about everything. See, when you’re old and you complain, people just go, “Well he is really old.”

But when you’re young and complain about things you’re either called a whiner or a dick.

Still there’s one thing about old men that really perplexes me. Nudity. Old men seem to like being naked. Everytime I go to the gym (Club Fit South) there is a naked old man in the change room. ALWAYS!

It’s not always the same guy, however that would be kind of cool.  But really, there’s always a naked old man just sitting on a bench perpetually putting on socks. I mean really who puts socks on BEFORE their underwear? Not this guy I’m a ginch first kind of guy!

The other day I came into the change room and two old dudes were standing there naked having a conversation. I don’t know what they were talking about. I was just kind of shocked about it, but I moved along and averted my eyes. Old man pubes seem to grow up to their navel.

I went to my locker and got ready to get a shower. I turned back and they were still there talking. Is this normal? Am I on the outside here looking in . . . at naked old men?

I am labia-less so I don’t ever hang out in the women’s change room and I don’t think I want to. I would like to think that there aren’t a bunch of naked old women with their basset hound breasts loafing about talking about how cute their grandchildren are. Yuck. That’s really all I have to say.